Life Without the Wife (Hubby's Take)

Yesterday I talked about living in Budapest for almost three and a half months without the Hubs, and promised to share his take on things too.  He emailed his thoughts to me without knowing mine, so it's funny how different his perspective - even his train of thought - is.  Because I had to, had to, interject, his text is teal and sandwiched between the next two photos and my interjections are the regular text colour and in italics.

Three and a half months alone.

It's been awhile since I lived on my own.  With Tanya overseas for an extended period of time, here are a few things I noticed about being home alone:

The house sure is quiet.  If I don't talk, NOBODY talks.  TV or radio is my friend.  I don't think the silent house appreciates my sometimes lame sense of humour like a human can (it can't recognize sarcasm).

Shopping at Costco takes a little more thought when only feeding one person.  Sure, it's easy for two people to eat ten bananas before they go bad.  One person?  A little harder.  I only did that once before deciding to buy fruit that I can keep in the fridge.  Mmm, strawberries.  Although I still had to power through those.  They are Costco-sized, after all. 

TANYA: He mentioned this ongoing Costco buying saga often.  I am surprised he didn't mention the joy of loitering by the watches (every single time) without me saying, "let's GO already!"

I use a lot less of the house on my own.  I think I ate in the dining room once.  Of all the chairs in our house I used three.  One in the dining room, one in the kitchen, and one in the office.  I could have gotten away with two, or one and the sofa.

TANYA: He determined that sixteen chairs is too many for our house (that's seriously how many we have . . . after I gave one away) and has since bugged me about this so much!

For this reason, I am sure there are things that Tanya put down before she left that will still be there for her return.  I kept the house tidy, but if I didn't need to put it away (or, more likely, I didn't know where it went), it probably got left alone.  This will add to the time warp she will experience.  "It's like I never left" will probably be said. 

I am surprised that I had the self discipline to make the bed and fluff the pillows on the sofa almost every day (I admit, I missed a few).  I used to think that I only did that because there were others to think about.  Perhaps I do care a little what the house looks like.

TANYA:  Cue evil laugh: MWAHAHA!  Soon he will be asking for MORE pillows, MORE pillows I say!

I still dislike doing laundry, and with just me in the house I am less likely to put it away until I absolutely have to.  Basically when I needed the laundry basket for the next load.  I still haven't pared all the socks, though.

Overall it was an interesting experience.  I worked quite a few extra hours and was not home a lot.  Now my bachelor-dom is coming to a close and I get to go to Hungary to see Tanya!  I can't think of a better way to wrap up the year!

He's tall, I promise, I'm just always wearing really high heels when we're photographed!  And we're patenting a certain dorky awkwardness when photographed together that you wouldn't expect after 11 years of posing for various photos (my prom among them).

So, there are Hubby's thoughts on being sans Tanya for over three months.  It was clearly a super weird feeling for him to have the house to himself!  That's kind of cute.  We normally do a lot of things, like grocery shopping, together or I just do them myself.  I think those routine things do become weird, when all of a sudden you're alone.  Are there any other home alone kids out there? (That's what my grandma calls me when she phones knowing Hubs is out). 

P.S.  Speaking of matters of the heart (although Hubby seems more enthralled with his fruit consumption), my pal Amy, from Vintage Marketplace, is having a really sweet from the heart (+ Starbucks giftcard) giveaway right now, so take a look.

3+ Months Without Hubby

I have been bombarded with questions from people on both sides of the Atlantic (blog friends, Hungarian friends and family, Canadian friends and family . . . I know the woman at the bakery is dying to ask), all wondering how I'm "coping" with more than three months away from Handy Hubby.  I think it's mighty strange to some (namely the woman at the bakery) that we've been apart for so long, so Hubs and I have both taken a stab at answering what life without the other has been like.  Me first.

He doesn't like to make many appearances on the blog (you can spot bits of him here, here and here), but here's my Handy Hubby: 

I love this photo of him.  I snapped it shortly before I left for Hungary.  He's carefully creating a custom box to ship some vintage molds I found for a friend's collection.  He's wearing his favorite pirate t-shirt (he has more than one).  He's using my Dora the Explorer pencil.  Awwwwww.



Okay, so is it really weird I just took off for a third of a year to do research abroad?  I admit, I was apprehensive at first, but now I feel really weird that it doesn't feel weird and that's making me feel weird.  (I also always got stressed before exams only because other people were stressed and it became distressing that I wasn't stressed).  

But really, it shouldn't be weird, right?  I think it's important we both have independence in our marriage.  We both travel solo quite a bit - I even came to Hungary last year for a month alone.  Granted, I missed him a lot when I was here, trapped with nutty strangers (like my roommate who wandered Budapest barefoot and was completely uncaring when the hostel refused us more T.P. after we ran out).  But still, I did it and felt really good about myself - really brave (don't laugh if you've done braver things).  Overall, even if I'm not always successful, I try really hard to not lean too heavily Hubs for things I don't want to do (or don't think I can do).  Even though we work as a team most of the time, I want to stay capable.  So, to me that means: bathroom tap came loose?  I got it.  Fridge broke?  I'll deal with it!  Go to Europe alone?  Okey-dokey.  Centipedes in the living room?  Ummmm.  Well, I could probably just let Hubs take care of that.  Don't want him to feel unneeded . . . 

But remember, for this trip I had the added bonus of being really busy and, until recently, having my Mom around!  I also think it's always easier to be the leaver than the leaved (left? levee?).  The person who goes has distractions and adventures.  The person left behind gets to sit across from an empty kitchen chair and stare longingly at snippets of proof the other person was there, like clothes in the laundry hamper, bills not filed, a pumpkin cheesecake you baked for them because it's their favorite not eaten . . .

So, I haven't had to "cope".  I actually adapted much better than I thought I would!  And Hubby helped with that.  When I told him I'd be booking it to Hungary, he said, "you're going to have such a great time!" and he was right.  I've missed him (of course!), and I'm really looking forward to seeing him soon, but these past months have been exciting and challenging (in a good way). 

Have you spent a good chunk of time away from your spouse/partner/roommate/plants?  I went for coffee with a Hungarian friend last night, who had spent three months in the U.S. during the summer.  She said folks really criticized her for leaving her partner behind.

Check back tomorrow to read Hubby's thoughts (spoiler: he was traumatized by having to grocery shop alone). 

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So Fancy

Our anniversary was nice and low key.  We don't even exchange gifts!  But if we did, I'd want one of these rings.  You know how much I love uncut diamonds.  And these are sheer perfection:

From Hilary Ann's Lumafina Shop

From Hilary Ann's Lumafina Shop

From Hilary Ann's Lumafina Shop

The mix of sleek metal with a raw, natural herkimer diamond is so unusual.  These rings are even customizable! I love when things are customizable. 

The other day I was explaining to someone that not only do we not celebrate Christmas, Hubby & I don't exchange gifts.  Ever.  It just doesn't make sense to us because we collapsed our finances years ago.  Instead, we buy things together - often when we travel.  I'll buy a piece of jewellery, he'll buy a watch or t-shirt, or we'll pick out a piece of art.  That way we remember the trip, not a birthday or anniversary (which we think we can remember all on our own).  But the woman I was talking to asked me this, "if you don't exchange gifts, how do you know he loves you?"
. . .

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