I can't believe I've been gone for so long...
At the end of May we received some upsetting and shocking news. We dropped everything, stuffed too few clothes in a duffel bag, ushered a surprised Szuka into the truck, and made our way to Southern Ontario, while my parents hopped on the next available flight. My family is working hard to maintain some semblance of privacy, so I can't go into detail about the unthinkable series of events that transpired, but I will say that a close family member passed away suddenly.
I only reluctantly returned home at the beginning of July. We had a rough June. My family had an overwhelming number of things to get settled and, of course, a lot of grief to work through. Things are not entirely resolved, so I may disappear again, but for now I'm home. Even though I'm physically here, it's going to take some time to find my way back to normal. I'm working on it, taking one day at a time. The calming effect of the lake is certainly helping. But I worry about some of my family members and hope that they too can find some refuge.
Thank you so much for all of your kind words here, on Instagram, and via email. I'm really touched that so many of you reached out to me. Your kindness has done wonders to lift my spirits.
aaaaw, thinking of you and wishing your family peace.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cassie, I appreciate it :)
DeleteSending you love and lakeside waves and doggy-snuggles. Thinking of you and wishing your family comfort and peace. Your beautiful home isn't going anywhere, take good care of yourself and soak in the love.
ReplyDeletebest always,
Lins
Thanks Lindsey. I'm sorry I've been so distant. I haven't been spending much time online - I was in an area with no cell service. Did not realize such a thing existed so close to Toronto! I really appreciate how sweet you've been. I promise to chat soon!
DeleteSending calming waves for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dharma! I really appreciate it.
Deletekeeping you in mind and sending good vibes your way- hug that dog and stay well. :)
ReplyDeleteYep, I'm lucky I've got such a large woolly beast to cheer me up. She was so adorable with my family. She puts her nose really close to your face when you're sad, and then whips around and presents her bum for petting. My family was perturbed, at first, by this, but then soon realized the healing power of petting this little polar bear.
DeleteSo sorry to hear of the grief that has hit your family, hope all is well soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks. We've just decided that 2015 is not our year. But everyone goes through crummy things, sadly.
DeleteSending positive thoughts your way. Family is always paramount, blogging will always be here for you, when you're ready. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThanks :) The positive thoughts mean a lot to me.
DeletePeace
ReplyDeleteThanks Terry :)
DeleteIm so sorry to hear that I hope you are ok :( Thinking of you and your family across the miles and know that we will be here when you return :) x
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm doing okay. Better, but I still have bad days. I'm looking forward to getting the creative juices flowing again.
DeleteHugs, love and light coming at you :)
ReplyDeleteLiz
Thanks Liz!! You're so sweet :)
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts go out to you and your family. I am happy to have you back even if not in full DIY mode. :) There is no place like home huh?
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words. There is definitely no place like home. I feel so fortunate to have a place that welcomes me back.
DeleteJust a couple of days ago I was viewing a designing blog which contained lots of shades of TEAL...Made me think of you, as it was very similar to your taste! Really! I consciously thought of you and your style....You make more of an impact on your loyal followers than you know...Grief is a hard part of life and learning how to handle it is the most difficult.
ReplyDeleteHi Janice. So now I need to know which blog it was so I can ogle the gorgeous shades of teal! It really makes me smile that you thought of me. Lots of folks tag me on Instagram when they spot some aqua and it makes my day. Thanks for your kind words.
DeleteUnfortunately, we all have to go through this - or worse - it's just unavoidable, and you're so right that learning how to handle it is tough. I'll be making an appointment with a grief counsellor next week, so I'm hoping to get through it as gracefully as possible and hope to be a strong support for my family, too.
If I can find the blog again, I will let you know. I meander a lot on here! I went to a grief counselor myself, after the loss of my father, and then my mother. It helps to voice your pain to someone unconnected to the source. Don't feel that you must keep your emotions in check. Try to let it out...I live my life in a way that would make my parents proud. That is the legacy that they have left me! Best wishes...
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and father. I can't even imagine how difficult that must have been for you. It's so heartwarming, what you said about living to make them proud. That's a beautiful way to think and live.
DeleteI'm happy to hear a counselor helped. I've never been so I'm a bit nervous, but I know I need it.
thinking of you and hoping you find some comfort. Take good care of yourself- so important during difficult emotional times. Know that your online friends care about you, too.
ReplyDeleteCindy
Thanks, Cindy, it's so nice to hear from you! I feel like I've been such a needy online friend because this is the second family member who has passed away this year. I feel like I've leaned on everyone a little too much! I really appreciate your kindness. Hearing from you always makes me smile!
DeleteI'm so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. My thoughts are with you. Take the time you need. Looking forward to your return, when you are ready.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jo, I appreciate that. I've got some projects I didn't post before I left, so it's going to be a nice way to ease back into things.
DeleteThinking of you, Tanya. So glad you are getting some counseling for yourself. These big losses take some special care to lay to rest. Meanwhile, your picture of the waves is perfect for the situation, in my experience. Grief tends to come in waves, some gentle and some not so much, with tides varying in intensity. Take your time with this. No apologies needed. You've got loyal fans out here, and many of us have been through terrible-awful years... Which only means we're glad to send supportive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteYes, counseling is on the agenda. Luckily Hubs has a service through his work so I don't need to worry about it breaking the bank! I feel fortunate in that regard.
DeleteYou're so right about grief coming in waves. Some days my family and I are okay...and other days we're not. It's a process, I realize that.
It's terrible to know that everyone else has had awful years too, but it does connect us as people. We all know what some version of this feels like. I'm grateful for the support and compassion.
Hi Tanya, welcome back, good to see you here. Sincere condolences on your loss, I hope things start to feel a bit better soon for you and your family, it takes time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Patricia. It feels so nice to be back. Back at home and back connecting with everyone here. I've missed your voices! Thanks so much for your kind words.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May you be comforted by the love of your family and friends, and keep your sweet memories close to your heart. God grant you peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nikki, for your thoughtful and comforting words. It means a lot to me.
DeleteWelcome back, Tanya.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear of your loss and this traumatic experience. I wish you and your family strength during this very difficult time.
Jordana
Thanks Jordana. No direction to go but forwards, right? :)
DeleteSo sorry to hear about your tough time. Sending healing vibes! Take as much time as you need to heal - you don't owe us an explanation, we'll be here whenever you can pop in to say 'hi' :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Elaine! I'm working on saying "hi" at least once a week :) Hoping for twice going forward.
DeleteI am really sorry for your loss and all the aftermath! I am away from computers and everything and just dropped into the city and try to finish things in between medical visits!Hope everything will be fine soon!AriadnefromGreece!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ariadne. I know you've been so busy and stressed yourself, so I appreciate your kind words and that you took the time to leave me such a sweet note. Thanks!
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